Readers of my web-blog (which is far inferior to this one, but has its own charm), will be well aware of the definition of 'non-working'.  Sadly, however, I only have three readers (including Michael Flatley), and this tells me one thing and one thing only: that it is my duty to share the concept of 'non-workingness' with a wider audience. That way, the movement may spread beyond my front garden and into the wider world, e.g. Belgium and/or Turkey.

To help explain it, I have re-written an old post. Not because I am lazy, but because the sheer quality of my writing stands the test of time (like for e.g. Celia Aherne and James Joyce), so there is no point in 're-inventing the bloggy wheel', as Seth Godin once said. Anyway, here goes!!!

Often, I sit in my armchair, smoking a small clay pipe, supping on a glass of absinthe and inserting my tiny little monkey paw into a packet of Hula-Hoops. That is happiness, my friends; deep happiness. A happiness you can only feel if you are Truly Non-Working (in your heart). It is not to do with unemployment, holidays, being fired, or taking a day off. It is a state of mind.

What is "Non-Working"?

"Non-Working" is an international movement spearheaded by me.  When I started it, it  spread to the front door of my plush Brixton apartment and down the road a bit, but then I moved to Montreal, so now it is mainly based there (with me still at its helm). It is a state of mind; a way of seeing the world and in particular, the world of work. It is perfectly possible to go to an office every day, do a good day's work, commute a bit, have a sandwich with Colin in accounts, be paid, do your expenses, take telephone calls, wear a suit and steal stationery - in fact, do all the things that would usually add up to be "working" - and yet be "Non-Working". 

In essence, it is the strong desire to do very little (unless it's something you really like doing) and be answerable to no-one, whilst understanding that working is necessary in order to get money, which we need to live. (Unless we live in communes in trees and barter things, e.g. a dog on a string for a new jerkin.)

How do I know if I am "Non-Working"?

You are "Non-Working" if you work to get enough money to live. If you do not know where you see yourself in five years' time and couldn't care less, you are almost certainly "Non-Working". 

The benefits of "Non-Workingness"

Happiness usually comes with "non-workingness". Ironically, also, being "non-working" can often make people much better at their jobs. They are less irritatingly eager to please; they are less sycophantic; they are relaxed, and have time to think. They are often more creative, nicer to work with and better at stealing stationery. Strangely enough, they are often better managers because they, more than anyone, know that everything else is more important than work. As a result, they often inspire a strange and beautiful loyalty in their teams. 

How do I know if I am "Working"?

Oh, you'll know. (Clue: BlackBerry.)

I suspect I may be spiritually "Working" rather than "Non-Working". How do I change?

Cretin.